Infertility affects both men and women. Statistics reveal that one-third of infertility cases are of men only. Because it is a common myth that infertility only affects females. Regardless of who is suffering from infertility, the journey is stressful for both partners. We are often worried about the mental and physical health of the person undergoing an IVF procedure or any other fertility treatment. However, the mental health and well-being of the non-carrying partner are overlooked. This post aims to educate about the infertility journey from a non-carrying partner’s perspective who is planning fertility treatments.
One can find it easier to cope with upcoming difficulties if they are aware of them and are expecting to experience them in the future.
It’s an emotional and stressful time
The fertility journey is about having a deep feeling and desire of conceiving even though the outcome is uncertain. The whole infertility situation is full of stress for anyone who is involved in it. Both partners are bombarded with complex choices that can have weighty consequences. The worst thing about such circumstances is that the result is not always certain to be a positive one. This again adds to the stress and anxiety.
In many cases, the non-carrying partner is the bread earner in the relationship and the monetary aspect associated with fertility treatment can put a toll on their mental health. The fertility treatments such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) are one of the most expensive treatments and are not as prevalent as they should be. Committing to such costly fertility treatments can be a major financial decision for both partners. Even if the financial aspect is not included, the hopes and disappointments persist. Since fertility treatment is uncertain, there are chances of heartbreak, failure, and disappointment as well as success, joy and fulfilment.
Infertility can affect your relationship
Relationships are quite delicate and can suffer a blow if the couple fails to communicate precisely. Infertility is one such sensitive issue that is not taken as a minor issue by everyone. Infertility can trigger the couple to have arguments and fights over the decision of conceiving. Here, the fun part of intimacy and love is left behind as the end goal becomes pregnancy. Due to this, healthy interaction can suffer because grief, sadness, anger and disappointment often take over the other emotions.
The fertility treatment is not always a success, many times failure is experienced. This again can spark a feeling of guilt, loneliness, incompetency, and even shame. All this negatively impacts the relationship of a couple as infertility becomes the major stressor in their lives. It is vital to learn how you can support your partner and yourself too.
Ways to back up your partner during fertility treatment
Seeing your partner at ease can help you attain peace of mind during the fertility treatment journey. Here are a few ways to help your partner through the treatment:
Get involved
If your partner is undergoing fertility treatment then there is not much you can do to directly help them with it. However, still there are ways you can support your partner. Learning more about the topic by reading fertility treatment blogs so you can share useful information with your partner. It helps you feel more helpful to your partner as the information will assist them too. Another thing you can do is simplify their daily life by preparing a to-do list for them. Moreover, taking up some of their stressful activity is a good idea.
Talk to one another
Communication is the key to a successful relationship, especially during your fertility journey. Infertility is already a tough situation and lack of communication can further complicate it. As a non-carrying partner, you should talk to your partner and share your feelings with them. This will allow them to know that you are with them in this unfortunate situation. Sharing will reduce any chances of negativity during the fertility treatment between you two. You both can become each other’s strength by communicating.
Listen to your partner
As a non-carrying partner, you may find your partner feeling low due to the burden of infertility. You will be the person to whom they can vent and express themselves freely. In those times you should listen to your partner’s sorrow and frustration. It should be noted that during this stage you should only focus on listening to your partner’s problem instead of focusing on finding the solution. You should be compassionate and empathetic to your partner. It is common for them to get emotional while pouring their heart out. In some cases, patients have to experience loss and failure as well. This can prompt the patient to express anger, so a supportive partner can the person through this pain.
Don’t let the fun & love get dry
Intimacy turns into a clinical way of conceiving a baby when you are diagnosed with infertility. This kills the fun and emotional appeal of sex between couples. Infertility shouldn’t affect your regular sex life as it can lead to further complications. It can also cause the couple to develop distance between themselves.
How you can support yourself?
To become a great support for your partner through these tough times you also need to support yourself. Don’t overlook your primary needs along with mental, spiritual and physical ones. A person might suffer from sadness or anxiety along with a change in appetite while supporting their partner. It is best to look after yourself too for the collective good. Focus on yourself to battle stress while helping your partner.
Continuing the habits that make you happy is a good way to cope with stress. Many non-carrying partners find it overwhelming to support themselves as well as their partner. This can often lead to anxiety or depression. So, seeking therapy is always a good idea before things get worse. Writing, reading, going for a walk, spending time with friends, exercising, yoga, meditation, etc are some good ways to keep your mind at ease. Connecting with a support group is also a good way of self-care. Sharing with people who are also suffering from the burden of infertility can help you as a non-carrying partner to feel better.
Final Words
Infertility is a difficult medical condition that can take a toll on your physical and mental health, as well as your relationship. A couple suffering from infertility will have to face numerous challenges throughout the fertility treatment. Along with the infertile partner, the non-carrying partner too has to experience the ups and down. The non-carrying partner often acts as the emotional support for the partner undergoing fertility treatment. And this journey for him/her is equally troublesome and demanding.
In those circumstances, it is best that both partners support one another and act as their strength. Patience, kindness, and hope always help people through the dark. One more thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to seek fertility treatment and not be ashamed of it. Infertility is more common than you might assume it to be. In those times expertise of fertility doctors such as Dr Manish Banker of the IVF centre in Ahmedabad is helpful. The fertility hospital in Ahmedabad offers all sorts of fertility treatments including IVF. Moreover, Banker IVF centre in Ahmedabad also provides fertility counselling for couples who are finding it tough to manage themselves with the unfortunate news of infertility. Fertility treatment has allowed couples to live their dream of being a parent. You can too hop onto this wagon!
